Friday, May 7, 2010

A Bandaid Ain't Gonna Fix It!

I realized rather quickly last evening that I was in an all out battle with my mother. Prior to abruptly being told that I would be "dealt" with so to speak in a few days, I didn't understand the magnitude of what I created. In true Vanessa fashion...I cried. And I cried some more & then I called Tracy & you guessed it, cried just a lil' bit more. As my babe drifted off to sleep I decided that something, one thing in particular needed to change. It's hard to put into words but there's a part of me that feels underestimated by mother. Yes, I'm all for the "it's takes a village to raise a child" but I'm the leader of said village!

Although my mother doesn't quite care for my airing of what one would consider "private/personal" this blog is about my life. All of it, which she so cleverly pointed out I don't dish about things intimate nature. This is not one of "those" kinds of! I'm feel confident in having covered that. The last time I checked we all know how babies are made :) But on serious note I want to make sure I convey that I love my mother. She drives me crazy and I know I give it right back to her; but, this is the dynamic of our relationship. No, it's not all giggles, laughs and pony's. But it's honest maybe not open in the sense that we just hash it out right then and there but we're working on it.

With all of that said I've come to the decision to put in Elle in daycare. For the past six months Elle has been the very lucky recipient of first class care. But it's A LOT of work! I can only one day hope to be a stay at home mom but in the mean time this working mom is going to give her mom a break. I'm not gonna lie it freaks me out to imagine dropping my baby girl off but I know that she is going to be in very capable and caring hands. I've found a great deal at the daycare a family friend works at. It's honestly a big huge blessing because childcare is anything but cheap. Not only that she'll be the hands of someone that I trust and that is a huge relief. We've, that would be my mother & I have yet to come to decision on the specifics but come the beginning of next month Elle will be starting her passage on becoming a woman of the world. I just hope we each are able to understand this is just a natural progression of things. She's got social skills & independence to aquire and well I've got to learn how to help guide her without being a "helicopter" mom. So here's to a few days of tears on both our parts but more importantly here's to us making our way in the world, together!


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