Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Last night I went to dinner with a friend in what could best be described as a step towards reconciliation. Our time was filled with catching up, discussing Elle & briefly addressing how we were going to move forward with one another. When all was said and done I was left taking a hard and honest look at the person that I am.

As my pregnancy nears the end and with delivery in the horizon I've come to accept and embrace all the qualities that make me who I am. The: good. bad. ugly. crazy. emotional. sensitive (and insensitive). judgemental. competitive. perfectionist. I have issues when it comes to communication. Sometimes I think before I speak to a fault and don't end up saying what I mean how I mean to. I avoid confrontation at all costs and have learned that there really is no way to. Sometimes the only option left is to just argue it out. The old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" couldn't be more flawed. Words hurt. More than I even realized they were capable of. Forgetting is just as hard as forgiving.


1.The act or process of accepting.
2.The state of being accepted or acceptable.
3.Favorable reception; approval.
4.Belief in something; agreement.

fifteen days to go! XOXO

Friday, November 20, 2009

One Flaw in Women...

Women have strengths that amaze men...
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.


I just read this and couldn't help but share it! XOXO

That's Just my Baby-Daddy

My morning started off well enough. Only mildy irritated by my mother. Took my usual exit off the highway to bypass traffic. Treated myself to Chick-fil-A & even decided to walk-in because the drive-thru line was ridiculous. Surprise...there was no one inside so in just a matter of minutes I had my chicken biscuit and was back on the road heading to the dr's office. I had cash on me today & got to park in the deck (FYI-last week no such luck. I had to park across the street where they take debit cards. Lesson. Learned.)

Soon enough I've grabbed a magazine (Working Mother. Never read it before. Pretty interesting. Think I'm gonna start a subscription.), my presence has been noted by the dr's assistant who is being quite chatty with me. This is out of the ordinary for her but after some small talk I'm left reading and listening to Steve & Vicki. When I'm finally called back for the customary weigh-in & urine sample the dr's assistant (whose name I should know but don't because she's not my fave) starts to ask me some "questions." I feel the quotation marks are necessary because it doesn't take long to realize that she's just being nosy. I guess it's naïve on my part to think that after nine months of showing up to these appointments alone, inquiring minds wouldn't be just a wee bit curious...right? BUT...it's none of her business! Last I checked she was there to weigh me, do whatever it is she does with my urine sample, & stand in the room with my dr. as he conducts the appointment. I didn't just mention be a nosy rosy, now did I?
Her first question seemed normal enough. She wanted to know who was going to be in the delivery room. I told her my mom, dad, sister (who I'm still not speaking with at the moment & could possibly not actually be there) & my best friend. Her response...your dad? Yes. Did I stutter? My father. Who I have asked to cut the umbilical cord. She follows up by asking me if the father knows. I'm standing there dumbfounded. Thinking to myself did she really just ask me that. Wait. I think she did. I said excuse me? Took a deep breath and remained composed because after all I haven't come this far to have just anybody deliver my daughter. I told her as a matter of fact he did and added (you didn't think that was it...did you? lol) that I strongly doubted I'm the first woman to walk into there office without "the father" & I strongly doubt I'm the last. As for the rest of the appointment, it went along as normal. I took a nap while I waited, got my blood pressure checked, heard Elle's heartbeat, cervix checked, and had the instructions of when I'm supposed to call reiterated. See you next Wednesday!

I've been playing this back to myself all morning and feeling judged...sucks. The life we are living and creating for ourselves is all about choices. Clearly the one's I made that resulted in getting pregnant are well rather obvious. If you've read any of my past posts then the choice DaddyWarBucks made is crystal clear as well, although not final in any respect for the time being it is what it is. I'm choosing to have a happy & healthy pregnancy since I want a happy & healthy Elle. And when I put my hurt feelings aside I'm not ashamed or disappointed in Vanessa (FYI-I'm a sucker for 3rd person...lol). I could very well be giving birth to the next Tyra Banks, you can thank me later :)

nineteen days to go! XOXO

Monday, November 16, 2009

He's Just Not That into You, but...

I just read this article: http://www.stumbleupon.com/s/#1IT0xw/www.momlogic.com/2009/11/i_think_he_likes_my_kid_more_than_me.php/

It wasn't a scenario I had run through my head prior to reading but I guess anything really is possible. It made me laugh! Remember that episode of Will & Grace, when Will is dating this guy he really isn't that into but is totally in love with the dog? So he ends up sticking around a lil' longer.

Like the old & over-used saying goes: He's Just Not That into You (but your kid is a totally different story....lol)

still at twenty-three days & counting. XOXO

Hormones. I mean Honey.

Someone said this to me recently and I found it both hilarious and honest. The truth of the matter is I couldn't be more hormonal if I tried....

Here's the thing I've decided that it's not my doing. These moments arise and bring out the hellion in me.

There was Wal-Mart. First, I pose a question: Is there proper etiquette for the self-check-out lines? I happen to believe there is. When all the stations are being used you form a "general admission line" (i.e. you stand sort of centered between the two sides. one behind another.) and when the check-out station becomes available you approach, check-out, pay and then it becomes someone else's turn. Simple enough...right? Hmmmm...not so much for this man I'm going to refer to as Baldy. Well, Baldy didn't see things the way I just presented them. His take on it was line up behind the person checking out and call your dibs from the very beginning. I was in line behind another gentleman who asked him what he was doing & explained what proper etiquette consists of. Baldy said that if he'd like he could just go ahead of him but that he wasn't going to do it that way. [Enter Vanessa from behind] Are you serious? You've got to be kidding me? Could you be more rude! After sizing me up and realizing that I was just some loud pregnant lady he scoffed & turned around. If I could have I would have kicked him, right at the knee from behind and enjoyed his slow & ultimately painful descent to the ground. No. Such. Luck.
Upon exiting and making the trek back to my car there was a car starting to reverse out of there parking spot. Clearly, they saw me because they stopped...for a moment that is and proceed to continue to pull out of there spot. I in turn stood there: hand on hip very matter of factly expressing to them my disgust for lack of the respect for pedistrians...i.e. me. In my mind I pictured myself doing the Karate Kid jump this time on the trunk & not the hood as in the movie. I'm not sure what I would have done after that. I didn't get that far in my montage...LOL! I definitely would have kicked some butt though.

Then there was my mother. She kept me waiting for an hour and fifteen minutes! I had a plan to get the furniture moved around and be in front of the t.v. watching kickoff at 7:00. That. Didn't. Happen. When I do finally hear from her she doesn't even address the fact that I've been waiting all this time for her. This is where I turn into a sobbing mess. And after using my fine tuned scare-tactics I'm left in my house alone struggling to just push my nightstand out of the way. Enter more tears. Just seconds later I SOS for help, talk to my mom, get the furniture moved & watch Georgia win. Kinda like a half-hour episode of Full House...huh?! LOL.

Moral of the Story: To know me is to love me :)

twenty-three days to go! XOXO

Thursday, November 12, 2009

In Honor of Elle

I'm going to start by saying that I'm extremely loved and blessed to have the family, friends, and support that I do. This whole bringing life into the world thing is full of ups and downs; and, not having the person you enjoyed those ten minutes with by your side through the tears, cravings and exhaustion...sucks. That being said, on with the celebrating!

I was fortunate enough to have two amazing baby showers. The first put together by the wonderful and generous women of my church. I asked for a diapers & wipes shower after reading about one online. I thought it'd be a great way to start gathering some essentials. Yes, Elle is going to be beautiful & dressed impeccably but she'll be spending most of her time pooping, drooling and crying. I was literally brought to tears when I walked in. It was so much more than I had anticipated it being. To have women that didn't know me give with such open hearts was overwhelming. The cake was adorable, the food was delish, the gifts just kept coming & the conversation was priceless. It was a fabulous time! Boxes of diapers, wipes, diaper rash ointment (which we later joked shouldn't be needed with all the diapers and wipes I received, LOL), some very cute outfits, gift cards & a diaper bag to die for! My car was even loaded for me and when all was said & done I car full of goodies. The most special gift of all was a journal that was passed around throughout the shower and filled with scriptures & thoughts of encouragement. After all this how could I possibly doubt that God doesn't have a plan for me?

(The awesome cake & equally awesome Melanie who put everything together!)

My second shower was thrown by Elle's Godmothers, Rebecca & Tracy. It was a fabulous afternoon filled with delicous food (courtesy of the Flying Biscuit...yummers!), a beautiful cake (courtsey of Michelle), games, gifts and most special my girlfriends. Some of who I hadn't seen in ages! It was great to have the chance to catch up & visit with them. It was also nice to introduce the new additions of my life to the older ones. One of my close girlfriends just had a baby and she brought her along for the fun too! It was great and equally hilarious to see her in action. It was priceless watching her hold a bottle with her elbow and use her other free hand to eat a piece of turkey bacon. Oh, what I have to look forward too :) On an even funnier note when we finally got home my Grams got out the car holding two ballons. Something told me to take them from her but when nature calls as a pregnant lady you better hurry up and answer or suffer the embrassing consequences. When I walked out to the living room Grams only had one ballon. I walked outside and my mom looked at me and just started laughing. She saw everything. I wish I had. She ended up letting the one I really liked loose. Guess I'll always have my memories....

(Me, Mom & Grams; My favorite picture from the shower; The beautiful & delish cake.)

twenty-seven days to go! XOXO

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Reality Check-Time

This past weekend I FINALLY went on the hospital tour. Prior to this I had registered three times and each time for either this reason or the other I never made it. When it comes to me it's always something. And it wasn't until the most recent time I missed it that I actually read the confirmation letter they sent. It contained words both using underlined and bold font, and very plainly stated that if you are late and the tour has started....you are not welcome to partake in the festivities. That's why this time I vowed it would be different. With a party of five it was essential that everyone know that I would leave without them if they were not at the car at the designated time. Harsh but ultimately necessary.

The tour didn't start till' noon (previous attempts I had signed up for the 9:00 am departure); we left at 10:30 arrived a mere thirty or so minutes later, parked the car and decided to burn our minutes eating lunch at the Mickey D's located on the second floor cafeteria. Which I have to say had some of the slowest service I had ever experienced in fast-food dining. It was painful to watch. But in no time at all we were wrapping up & heading back to the atrium to start the tour.

Being that I travel with an entourage we were on the family tour which meant there was a good chance there would be some children involved. Luckily, it was too bad. It was us (me, mom, don, grams & sam), a couple, and a family consisting of mom, dad and two sons (both around nine and ten and boy were they a handful....LOL). After exchanging pleasantries we were walked through what will happen when we arrive on D-day. Rather fitting...huh? D-day=delivery day...LOL. Work with me :) Our guide showed us where we walk & sign-in at. The labor and delivery room (LDR) where the main event takes place. It was so surreal to be sitting in the very room I'll be bringing my baby girl into the world in. Writing about it now starts the water works. I'm so happy to have the end in sight and be so close to meeting her. Meanwhile, the husband who made up the other half of the couple on the tour asked lots of questions that I found comic relief in. Such as:

(1) Is there a doctor on call? Here's the thing. You call your doctor and they call the hospital. I guess that part went right over his head, LOL! FYI-In cases where the mom hasn't gotten pre-natal care & doesn't have her own doctor they use the one on-call. I know I haven't come this far with my doctor to not have him be the one to deliever my Elle.

(2) Are there times where there are more women then beds available? I think he was getting freaked out with the numbers our guide was throwing out there. But I swear he asked if they would just leave his wife in the hallway on a gurney. Really dude? You're at Northside. There is a reason so many women choose to have there babies there. And I'm pretty sure that being left in the hallway isn't one of em'. Our guide assured him that they wouldn't park his wife in the hallway & that there are times when occupancy is higher than capacity allots; but, he had no reason to worry or work himself up. Everything would be taken care of accordingly.

Next, we headed upstairs to what they've termed "family (something or other) pods." We saw the nursery, where you can send your baby to whenever you'd like. We saw what the rooms look like. And finished up in front of the birth certificate office. Where we were told to make sure we turn the form in before leaving the hospital (DUH!) and to check the box to start the process for applying for the social security number. Throughout the tour we saw three or four mom's being rolled out with there baby & belongings. It was so sweet. Although I do plan on having my hair done and wearing a minimal amount of make-up...that's gonna be me! It was another stop, think and realize moment. This is really happening and when I push the nerves aside, I know that I'm ready.

Oh, one other fun thing we covered were pictures. If you know me then you know I'm all about the pictures. So before you take that stroll to the curb you'll have a chance to have some photos taken and put on anything from a ceramic bootie to a handbag. I pretty much fell in love with everything.

twenty-nine days to go! XOXO

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Home Stretch

Today marks thirty days to go. Or possibly less. I think it'd be great to have a Thanksgiving baby...lol :) This week my weekly visits to the dr's start too. I'm hoping this means time is going to start flying by. Something tells me that isn't the case considering all last week I couldn't wait for it to be this week and although it's finally here I won't hold my breath.

In other good news I've got a crib & stroller waiting for me to pick-up from Wal-Mart. AH, gotta love procrastination. (PS-I can't even begin to tell you how many ideas and plans I've gone through. I absolutely love what I've decided on but I guess part of the process is falling in love with every picture of a nursery you see.) I saw the e-mail last night and if I could have had it my way we would have jumped in the car and got it. But alas, it was a no-go. With all the gifts I STILL need to unpack and put away my time was definitely better used putting a dent in all of that. I'm nowhere near done but I'm supposed to be entering this nesting phase, so I'll continue at the speed I'm at until either that happens or I talk my mom into it.

really just a month? YIKES! XOXO

Friday, November 6, 2009

Blogging to win...

Here are some contests I'm entering. From @theshoppingmama via twitter. Part of the entry process includes blogging about them. Crossing my fingers for a win!

1. Boon Flair High Chair

Here's the link on how to enter: http://theshoppingmama.com/2009/11/boonflairhighchairgiveaway/ & here's the link to the company who makes the fabulous high chair: http://www.booninc.com/

2. Boppy Pillow

Here's the link on how to enter: http://theshoppingmama.com/2009/10/boppy-pillow-a-must-have-baby-product-all-about-baby-giveaway/ & here's the link to the company that makes the fabulous pillow: http://www.boppy.com/

3. Medela Freesyle Breastpump

Here's the link on how to enter: http://theshoppingmama.com/2009/10/medela-freestyle-breastpump-all-about-baby-giveaway/ & here's the link to the awesome breastpump: http://www.medelafreestyle.com/

4. Beaba Babycook
Here's the link on how to enter: http://theshoppingmama.com/2009/11/beabababycookgiveaway/ & here's the link to the company:http://scandanavianchild.com/ & here's how to make babyfood: http://theshoppingmama.com/2009/07/howtomakebabyfood/

You can enter and win too. Good Luck!

Cue the Trumpets!

Although it appears that I fell of the grid today marks my triumphant return (insert fanfare). I'm officially back! I know you missed me...

Its been fifteen weeks and three days. I. Know. Horrible. But after some re-vamping and the inspiration of other mom bloggers I'm glad to just be back to narrating the going's on and happening's. To catch you up, the short version goes something like this: I was twenty weeks pregnant moving ever so slowly through my second trimester. Today I'm at thirty-five weeks, nearing the end of my third trimester and just a matter of weeks from the delivery of my precious baby girl. In the midst of having a very special friendship fall apart I found solidarity in another one. I've come to absolutely cherish my mother and our relationship. Without her this would be a very different experience. I've found strength in my tears and faith in knowing I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and have let go of needing to understand why. I'm finally enjoying it. All of it: uncomfortable sleep, middle of the night leg cramps, being unable to take cold or allergy medicine, limited bending capabilities, and then ofcourse there is wrestling with my emotions. I've felt it all and at this juncture I'm pretty sure I've said it all too.

I'm happy being me. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm vain. Conscious of packing on the pregnancy lbs. Only twenty-nine pounds so far & I was recently told I only look four or five months along (all I can say is THANK YOU MOM!) I'm constantly reading. I've managed to get around the inevitable pregnancy side effects like drinking tons of h20 to avoid swollen feet. FYI-I made it this far minus any swelling :) Competitiveness comes naturally. I plan and organize to an extent that makes sense to few. This is the way I always knew I'd be.

thirty-three days to go! XOXO