My morning started off well enough. Only mildy irritated by my mother. Took my usual exit off the highway to bypass traffic. Treated myself to Chick-fil-A & even decided to walk-in because the drive-thru line was ridiculous. Surprise...there was no one inside so in just a matter of minutes I had my chicken biscuit and was back on the road heading to the dr's office. I had cash on me today & got to park in the deck (FYI-last week no such luck. I had to park across the street where they take debit cards. Lesson. Learned.)
Soon enough I've grabbed a magazine (Working Mother. Never read it before. Pretty interesting. Think I'm gonna start a subscription.), my presence has been noted by the dr's assistant who is being quite chatty with me. This is out of the ordinary for her but after some small talk I'm left reading and listening to Steve & Vicki. When I'm finally called back for the customary weigh-in & urine sample the dr's assistant (whose name I should know but don't because she's not my fave) starts to ask me some "questions." I feel the quotation marks are necessary because it doesn't take long to realize that she's just being nosy. I guess it's naïve on my part to think that after nine months of showing up to these appointments alone, inquiring minds wouldn't be just a wee bit curious...right? BUT...it's none of her business! Last I checked she was there to weigh me, do whatever it is she does with my urine sample, & stand in the room with my dr. as he conducts the appointment. I didn't just mention be a nosy rosy, now did I?
Her first question seemed normal enough. She wanted to know who was going to be in the delivery room. I told her my mom, dad, sister (who I'm still not speaking with at the moment & could possibly not actually be there) & my best friend. Her response...your dad? Yes. Did I stutter? My father. Who I have asked to cut the umbilical cord. She follows up by asking me if the father knows. I'm standing there dumbfounded. Thinking to myself did she really just ask me that. Wait. I think she did. I said excuse me? Took a deep breath and remained composed because after all I haven't come this far to have just anybody deliver my daughter. I told her as a matter of fact he did and added (you didn't think that was it...did you? lol) that I strongly doubted I'm the first woman to walk into there office without "the father" & I strongly doubt I'm the last. As for the rest of the appointment, it went along as normal. I took a nap while I waited, got my blood pressure checked, heard Elle's heartbeat, cervix checked, and had the instructions of when I'm supposed to call reiterated. See you next Wednesday!
I've been playing this back to myself all morning and feeling judged...sucks. The life we are living and creating for ourselves is all about choices. Clearly the one's I made that resulted in getting pregnant are well rather obvious. If you've read any of my past posts then the choice DaddyWarBucks made is crystal clear as well, although not final in any respect for the time being it is what it is. I'm choosing to have a happy & healthy pregnancy since I want a happy & healthy Elle. And when I put my hurt feelings aside I'm not ashamed or disappointed in Vanessa (FYI-I'm a sucker for 3rd person...lol). I could very well be giving birth to the next Tyra Banks, you can thank me later :)
nineteen days to go! XOXO