Thursday, June 25, 2009

Happy Father's Day...Mom

I woke up Sunday saddened by the thought that this time next year my future son or daughter won't have a father around to lavish love & a gift bought by mom on. The inevitable "dad conversation" is something that's hard not to think about. Being the best mom possible may not be enough to fill what could possibly be an unavoidable hole. In my own experience, I love my father. I think he's a jerk but nonetheless, I love him. In his absence I saw my mother work her ass off to support me and my siblings. And that's the example that drives me to be the best me that I can possibly be. It can be done.

Through the course of the day I came across this article: I chalk it up to a new version of the blame game. Here's the thing I don't see myself anywhere in it. I tend to lean more towards taking these situations on a case by case basis. Everyone and there circumstance are different. Here are my thoughts:
  • My child has one father. I know who he is, he knows who he is and one day my son/daughter will know. I've never been a fan of women who push the "dad" title on men who one aren't the father and two exhibit no qualities of a man that would be. Just because your dating some dude doesn't mean he's worthy of being called dad. What happens when the relationship is over? What kind of example is that setting, especially for our girls that will grow to be women? I myself have seen it first hand. My nieces mother played that daddy nonsense with my brother and her older son (that was from a previous relationship). He was fully aware of who his dad was and I don't think he wanted to call my brother dad but did because that's what his mom wanted him to do.
  • I would agree with the belief that courts tend to lean toward giving custody to mom over dad. And no not every single mother who enters a court room is necessarily the better pick over dad. But for who knows how long men have chose to walk out of the life of both mother and baby upon finding out she was pregnant. Take myself for example, case and point. I'll be the first to admit that we weren't in a relationship but that doesn't make it okay to exit stage right. It's called responsibility.

I can say that I think the blame game needs to come to a quick and abrupt end. As adults we know how babies are made and if the necessary precautions aren't taken the results are life changing, in the shape of a pregnancy (or worse an STD).

mommy to be. XOXO

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