Thursday, June 18, 2009

Effortless Tears

I'm feeling incredibly emotional, it's manifesting itself in tears. Normally the last thing I'd think about is sharing it with the world (i.e. the four people who read this But if my purpose is narrate all of this...smiles, frowns and all; thus far, I'm guilty of leaving out a significant chunk of happenings'.

Maybe it can just be chalked up to "one of those days." I was dragging this morning. It's been a few weeks since I hit the snooze so many times. In an effort to be more healthy I packed my lunch which also ate up valuable minutes. I usually watch the news on channel 2 (I totally have a crush on Ryan Young.) but I can stay up on how traffic and such is going until they inevitably start the circle over again by re-hashing everything they just did right before they cut to commercial. I missed all that this morning. The end of the story is me ending up at work at 9:30 as opposed to my intended start time at 8:00. There were no shortcuts to take. Everywhere I turned there was a sea of brake lights. Luckily, my GPS was able to get me around 285 and on to 75 it just took two hours. So there's that. Next, would be that I'm hungry. I don't know what's going on but within the last week or so my appetite is out of control. I didn't eat before I left because I planned on eating the yogurt I have here at work. Well by the time that happened it was less than satisfying. To be honest all I could think about was how a Krispy Kreme doughnut would make it all better. Horrible. True. And insanely hilarious!

And all of that would bring me to the moment the tears came. As I settle into the day and make my to do list I did my usual social network browsing and saw a picture that opened the flood gates. It honestly just made me sad. I wasn't there. In the pictures part of the memories. It also brought up the extreme amount of pressure I feel with regards to having to raise money for the breast cancer 3-day. I feel overwhelmed by it. I wish there was a way to bow out gracefully but there isn't. It's a commitment I made and am being held to. One way or another $2300 will be my contribution to the fight against breast cancer. I just need to get the ball rolling but sometimes it's hard to find the energy it's all requiring of me.

Wooooo-ssssaaaaaaaahhhhhh.....I'm still hungry. I think I'm going to eat my lunch. Maybe I should start bringing two lunches?! Can you just feel the weight gain, I can!

mommy to be. XOXO

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