The show featured two women who were mom's, BFF's and authors. There books have clever titles such as: I Was a Really Good Mom before I Had Kids and Dirty Little Secrets of Otherwise Perfect Moms. Both of which I have ordered (reading a pregnant gal's newest favorite hobby). Here is some more on them: http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090311-tows-mom-truth/9
It was an open and honest discussion about motherhood, it was extremely enlightening. My light bulb moment came when I realized the image of perfection I'm chasing. I feel pressure to be "perfect", it's self imposed and apparently not very realistic. I guess for me there is an image I've always had of the type of mother I would be and it's beginning stages of showing itself. I guess I've always seen it in black or white terms either I'm the best or I'm a failure, and there is no room for adjusting or tweaking as may be needed. I want to be able to do it all, make dinner and get a good nights sleep, and some nights that just may not be the case. As I go through my pregnancy I am surprised at how much better I am at going with the flow, being less high-maintenance and not letting other peoples opinion weigh on the plan I'm setting into motion.
I also think some of my chase for perfection comes from doing it alone. If it's just going to be me then I've got to be the best version of me as a mom that I can be. I feel like there are some people who look at me like there sorry for me, like there is no way they could imagine having to go through what I am. For instance, when I was catching up with a friend (also pregnant) of mine she said, "I'm just sorry you don't have a John" (i.e. her husband). Okay. Wait a minute. Seriously? I'm not sorry and it's in moments like this where I'm able to find strength. It's also not surprisingly when my competitive spirit grabs a hold of me, what can I say? I can't help it. I also don't want to be looked down on or pitied. Although I've yet to achieve the things I want career wise, I am well on my way and just became the proud owner of a new extra push...my baby. I tend to lean toward thinking my take no prisoner's attitude will serve us just fine.
Here's to finding perfection in my imperfection....
mommy to be. XOXO