Sunday, January 2, 2011

L.O., L.O., L.O., L.O.V.E.

The thought of blogging everyday has started to weigh on me. In both good and bad ways, on the plus side I'll be able to say "I DID IT!" everyday I made the time for myself, to do something purely for my enjoyment. On the flip side though I'm uneasy about where exactly my subject matter will be going. Motherhood is a unique experience for each of us that wear the sash "Mom" and this is my take on it, so with that said (or written rather)...hold on tight!

Today I amerced myself in the OWN network and watched a show titled "in search of..." it made me sorta see the moment Elle asks me about "DaddyWarBucks" (as I've previously termed him). I watched both the triumph and sadness that comes with deciding to search for your biological parent. Our mothers and fathers hold such a special place in the fiber of the people that we are and when one (or both even) of those is missing there is a part of us missing and it's only human nature to want to fill it by finding them. With the help of a genealogist one man was able to find his father, have a brief phone conversation and in weeks was meeting him. It was an overwhelming sweet moment. He was also able to meet extended family members. Then there were a set of twins who were adopted and in search of there birth mother. They were able to find her and she denied being there mother. It was a gut wrenching moment. It eventually came to the surface that she too was also adopted. Which just added another layer of hurt, confusion and sadness.

So although I haven't really decided what I'm going to say I do know that it has to be age appropriate honesty. Although I constantly wrestle with writing a letter or sending a picture, I really, honestly believe that this man could care less. He doesn't get to cause more pain then he already has and I know that he knows how to contact to me. The good news is that I do wholeheartedly believe that there is someone out there who will love the both of us.

Love is a bond stronger than DNA...


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