I'm what you'd call a "good girl." At least that is many a people's perception of me. Do I think it's way off? No, not at all. From an early age I've always sorta known that and at least outwardly did the best I could to live up to it. There was however a bump in this flawlessly paved road...I got pregnant. Good girls don't get pregnant. Wait. Scratch that. Do good girls even have sex...hmmmm?! LOL. A part of me can't help but feel kicked out of the club.
Over the weekend I ran into an old high school classmate/college roommate. It was great to see her, initially. After the girly yelp, hug and once over the very first out of this grown woman's mouth is: "I'm not gonna lie it kinda freaked me out you had a kid." Insert deep breath. Count to five. Just for fun take another deep breath. My response: You have two choices. Either you have a baby or you don't. I had a baby. She immediately chimed in: "NO, NO, you did the right thing!" Here's a warning that what I'm about to say might offend some people but I'm not going to make any apologies. Damn pro-lifers! I say that because I feel most harshly judged by people who don't see a choice. You got pregnant. You're having a baby. Except in reality it's not that simple. Facing parenthood alone is an awfully scary thing. It's ultimately a battle between this amazing realization that there is a life inside of you and the ulgy truth that is everything else. You have to do what's right for you. I did & even though I'm still most certainly working through the kinks if I for minute thought that I couldn't do this I would have seriously considered the alternatives. But alas, here we are...myself and Elle that is. She could not possibly bring more love and laughter into my life if she tried.
Having an opinion is clearly something that we're all entitled to. However, that doesn't give you the right to just say it. It's called tact and it's something that I think more people need to use. What happened to thinking before you speak? What happened to just shutting the hell up? What happened to good ol' fashioned gossiping? You know, telling your friend about this friend you have and so on and so forth. Hmmmmm....
All I can be is Vanessa. Mom. Friend. Lover.
PS-Whoever and wherever the lady in charge is. Please consider reinstating my membership, it would mean a lot to this good girl.