Thirty Days of Mommyhood

On the 28th I'd been a mom for a whole month. Woo-hoo! Not a significant milestone but a milestone nonetheless. It's amazing how much I've experienced in just a mere thirty days...

I absolutely love my daughter! She makes me incredibly happy which helps when I'm covered in urine and spit up. I'm happy to report that it doesn't even phase me now. All it means is it's time to put on a new shirt and decide whether or not her outfit is salvageable. You'd think I'd do a better job about using a burp cloth but I'm not and I'm okay with it. Lucky for me I like to do laundry and find folding laundry therapeutic. And even though I've heard several times that the day is going to come when I won't be anal-retentive about how her clothes are folded, I think they're wrong. Mothering is very hard work. Rewarding. But hard. When it's three o'clock in the morning and I'm walking to the kitchen to make a bottle & all I can think is "please let her fall back to sleep smoothly". Hard. When I've got a naked baby pooping. Hard (and gross). One morning as I was getting ready to bathe her she started her BM for the day and I gagged my way through it, start to finish. Luckily, Gram-Gram was there to serve as back-up. When she's crying and there's no soothing her. Hard. But when that smile appears on her face it's priceless. When she goes smoothly from falling asleep on me to being put in her crib, score! When I can get her changed or fed before the tears start...time for a celebratory dance. The morning I made a bottle sans the formula & didn't realize it until I was shaking the bottle, hilarious! My ability to do everything from opening doors to putting on make-up with one hand, impressive. She has a wardrobe she doesn't quite fit yet. She's outgrown her newborn onesies but after trial and error I realize that she still needs newborn sized clothes. I'm kooky about her hair. I expect her outfits to match, socks and all. If you couldn't tell I'm one of "those moms" and I embrace every bit of it.

Nipples Were Meant to Hurt
I decided early on I was going to breastfeed. It's best for both baby and mom. I heard how it hurts but it's one of those things you have to live to truly understand. I can say now however I get it. It's an intense commitment and after eighteen days I threw in the breast pump! In just a matter of days I had my Elle successfully on formula and after a recommendation from her pediatrician I found one the she could eat and digest minus the sour faces and looks like I was trying to murder her. I can look back on those days fondly. It really is this amazing bonding experience but mom wants her boobs back...lol.

Estrogen is Powerful
The range of emotions I felt ran the gambit. Everything from genuine happiness and fulfillment to overwhelming frustration and anger. I can say that first week or so home I really didn't want to let anyone else hold her. I was completely content with it just being the two of us. Everyone was welcomed to look from afar but that was it. After a blowout and some tears I can say that I've successfully moved through that portion of the emotional roller coaster, here's to whatever comes next!

XOXO


PS-Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from the two of us!