Babies are Bits of Stardust Blown from the Hand of God

It was a day I had been looking forward to since Elle was born, her baptism! For me the day started around 5:00 am. You'd think that'd be plenty of time to dress myself & Elle, but on this particular day that just wasn't the case. Initially, the plan was to have breakfast at one of my favorite restaurants afterwards. Well at around five o' clock in the afternoon there's a change of plans and we decide it'd make more sense to just have everyone come back to the house and have breakfast. Since serving cereal is clearly out of the question that left us figuring out a menu. After much debate we decided on hash brown casseroles. They seemed easy enough and like they'd be pretty tasty & easy to re-heat the following morning. All of that basically meant GIRLS SHOPPING TRIP! Me, Elle & Auntie Sam jumped in the car and began what would be an all night shopping affair. We don't do anything in what you would call a timely fashion and besides I was with two people who just love to spend my money!

Our first stop was WalMart. For as long as we were in there you'd never think we had a list! The problem was everything that ended up in the cart that wasn't on the list. It was full of stuff before we even got to the whole reason we were there ...the food. I bought Elle a walker and this really cute v-tech puppy dog, her name is Violet and one day she is going to help Elle learn how to spell her name! How awesome?! Learning and fun go hand and hand in the Brown household! As our journey came to a close the list did come in handy because we came very, very, close to leaving WalMart without the hash browns! At that point we were what felt miles from the section they were in but we forged ahead and could finally head to the cash register knowing that everyone but Mom had something they would go on to have fun with. In Auntie Sam's case that would be some fabric to make a blanket with. A whopping $160 later we were headed for the car and our next stop. Oh yeah, you didn't think we were done, did you? After some clever maneuvering & placement of bags because space comes at a premium in my car. The stroller takes up the entire trunk, Elle rules the entire back passenger side & Sam was riding up front all of that means shop smart because your gonna have to figure out how to get everything you thought you needed in the car.


Ofcourse no celebration is complete without decorations! So we headed to Party City on a budget, I said we've got $25 and that's that. You can place your bets on whether that happened or not. By this time it was dark out, Elle had been quite the lovely lady and not had any major outbursts. But by the time I was putting the car in park baby girl was hungry! As a reward I took her out of the car seat and decided to carry her. We were on a mission to get in and get out. We grabbed a banner (which I'll address later), garland, and table cloth. We hit the plate, napkin, and cutlery aisle and after a brief weighing of our options came up with a great mix of solids and prints. Next we went to the balloon counter and after facing the realization that we weren't going to be able to fit many balloon's & Auntie Sam in the car we settled on six latex (3-pink, 3-silver) with hi-float (that keeps them up longer)and proceeded to the checkout. So how many of you think I stayed with my $25 dollar limit, hmmmm? FAIL! Thirty-five dollars later we were headed to the car and for home...FINALLY!

PS-Regarding the banner I bought: It said "Happy 1st Communion" it didn't hit me until we got home while Sam was hanging it. Happy 1st Communion...Happy 1st Communion? Damn Gina, this is NOT Communion! Ahhhh...alas, I'm just a mom please don't hold it against me :)

PPS-I actually got 7 ballons! Which ended up being a good thing when Auntie Sam accidentally popped one...lol



This is the part of the story where Auntie Sam earned her keep. Without her either not everything would not have got done or I would have been a mega biatch from exhaustion of getting it all done. She did ALL of the decorating & cooking. Me and Elle held on as long as we could but we faded fast. At midnight Sam was moving us from the couch to the bed and the smell of bacon was permeating the house, it smelled divine.

My alarm went off at 5:00 and I was up by 5:30, not too shabby! First thing I did was go to the kitchen and to my amazement found all the casseroles cooked and all I needed to do was bake the muffins! I managed to shower, bake and not burn anything. GO MOMMA! Time flew and before you knew it was 8:00. Then it was 8:30 and I was finally waking Elle up to get ready. Now in my mind I saw us (i.e. Mom, Don, Sam, Grams, Elle and I) leaving all together. That didn't happen. At 9:00 Grams said she was going to run to the store for her paper. Really? It goes without saying the old bird is all about her daily reading of the New York Times. This is when I decided at 9:15 I was leaving and either you were with me or you weren't and if you weren't and you missed my daughters baptism which you've known about for months I was going to beat you up!


At 9:15, me, Elle, Sam and Grams got in the car and headed for church which mind you started at 9:30. On the way Elle got the crazy out of her system. She cried & fussed and all I kept saying to myself was "you didn't come this far to fall apart. you can fall apart this afternoon. but right now keep it together lady." And that's exactly what I did, for my sanity and everyone else's safety. By the time we arrived Tracy was already there. Enter my sisters small fit & discomfort with having to actually sit through an entire church service. Rebecca & Candace were running late. And my mother and Don were nowhere to be found. We got compliments, we sang, we prayed, Elle cried, ate & fell asleep, Rebecca arrived, my sister calmed down, Candace arrived, and then it was showtime. Auntie Sam followed us and sat in the front row to record it all. I will say that lucky for Gram-Gram & Paw-Paw I saw them standing in the lobby, so they didn't miss it cause if they had it would have hurt me very much. After a small photo session in which everyone cooperated (including Elle!) we headed for our house.


The day was nothing short of fabulous to have my some of my best friends and family all hanging out and celebrating Elle. The food was delish (kudos to the chef), the gifts were awesome (thanks everyone) & my Elle looked beautiful (hello, I'm her Mom)!

XOXO

Mommy & Me Time

This is where me and Elle spent our Saturday morning! We both woke up that morning in our clothes from the day before, it was a rough night to say the least. Elle put up a serious fight with her sleep. And rather quickly I decided my last resort was to drive her around and put her to sleep. I got her in her bunting suit & buckled into her car seat but when I turned back around to my amazement she had fallen asleep. Rather then risk waking her back up I took her out of the car seat, unzipped her bunting suit, turned off the light and went to sleep. It was pretty funny waking up in that condition but all I could do was laugh & give myself a hi-five. We SURVIVED!

We were dressed, packed and leaving the house right on schedule. I was so proud of myself. Sometimes I can't help but feel like there is no such thing as enough time. As we approached our exit I realized we had enough time to go and do a return I had at Wal-Mart. Once in line though I wasn't too confident we were actually going to be on time. There were a few people ahead of us and only one person was working. Luckily, Octavious didn't move as slow as a turtle and we were able to get the item returned & back on the road with fifteen minutes to spare.

We were actually the first ones to arrive for the 9:00am class. As I was filling out the paperwork I actually had to think twice before filling out the parent information. My first thought was to write my mother's info. LOL! Yep that's right. My first thought when I see the word "parent" is my parent. Hello, I'm someone's parent now too. I forgot to bring socks with me. To be honest I'm not a huge fan of socks and if it weren't gross and looked down upon I'd walk around barefoot. I guess that's just the hippie in me. Luckily, I was loaned a pair!

Then it was time to get the class started. We began with just warming the babies up with some stretching and singing (Oh, the singing! I'm looking forward to being cool like all the other parents when I know the words too!) Next we placed the lil' ones on a beach-like ball, nearly scaring them half to death by placing them on there bellies facing away from us and moving them back and forth. The looks on some of the other babies faces were priceless. After we got there heart rates up we proceeded to slow things down by playing with some toys. During this portion of the class the instructor, Marc came over and talked with me about how Elle is developing. She's doing a really great job keeping her head up & he gave me tip about leaning her a little forward to help her work on learning how to sit up by herself because once she's there she can sit and play by herself which would give me back both my hands to do stuff. I'm sure doing laundry with a baby in your arms sounds like a fun time and all but it gets tiring rather quickly. Then we were on to every babies favorite time: tummy time. Elle actually kicked major ass here! She kept herself raised up and just took in everything that was going on around her. While we were having fun on our tummies & playing Marc walked around and got each of the babies for some time in the swing.



When it was Elle's turn she had a blast! As you see she was definitely surprised at first but it only took her a few seconds to catch on and enjoy the ride! We finished the class with some baby massage. We focused on the back, which meant the babies were back on there tummies and not everyone made it through successfully, but...Elle DID! She just layed there with her fist in her mouth (Yes, she literally sticks her fist in her mouth and sucks on it. Everyone now and again she sticks a few fingers in there and ends up gagging, it never fails), I can't make this stuff up!

At the end of the class we ended up signing up for an 8-block of classes. I know that Elle had so much fun! It was also great to see other parents. It made me embrace the whole mother thing. As I was signing us up I spoke with some other moms & we all agreed that it gets on our nerves when people say, "I miss that stage" (Ummmm...how about I call you at 2:00am or 3:00am & say hi) or "It gets easier" (Hmmmm...everyday I wake up and realize that today isn't the day, LOL! Easy is relative).

After class we went and had lunch with Kris. It was fabulous to see her & have her meet Elle. Like everyone else she fell in love with her and thought she was very pretty. We had Mexican & margaritas. The best part of all was that Elle slept the entire car ride home and stayed that way once we finally made it home and Mom got to take a nap!

XOXO

Ninety Days of Mommyhood

Our three month achievement has come and gone. To be honest without this picture the day doesn't really stand out in any sort of extra special way. The picture tells me that Elle was wearing her strawberry outfit (matching jacket & pants). I remember snapping this picture and finding it hysterical. That is definitely my Elle.

As I navigate my way through the days I believe we've come to the part where they say "hold on it's gonna be a bumpy ride." It's hard to put it all into words. There's a part of me that is having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I'm having a hard time. Wait what do you mean that I'm going to be overcome with emotion and not be able to make any sense of it. Why doesn't this make any sense? I'm crying and don't really know why. Wait, what the hell is wrong with me? It appears as though I'm in a very brutal game of hide and seek with myself. There's also the struggle with finding the right words. None of what I'm feeling at the moment is nice or pretty. Swearing has become very therapeutic. I'm looking for a more constructive outlet I'll let you know what I find.

The good news is that I know this isn't always what life is going to look or feel like...

XOXO

Underestimated & Overwhelmed

Giving up is easy. I didn't do what was easy. I didn't give up.

I'd been looking forward to last weekend for weeks. Me & my Elle were going away for the weekend with the women of my church on a retreat. You could say from the beginning I was doomed. Friday sunset not packed. Midnight, hello Saturday. Still not packed & now I've acquired a sleeping baby on my chest. Enter a necessary nap. You try hanging out with an infant whose favorite pastimes include sleeping & eating. 3:30am, my bed is covered with multiple piles all of which need to be packed. I toss Elle in her crib. Not literally ofcourse that would have woke her up. Thought bubble: pack. quickly. NOW.

The sun sets & the sun rises. With t-minus three hours to departure time I had plenty to get done. Fast forward to my three hour deadline & all that's left to do is get the car packed. Sounds simple enough but in hindsight it's where I should have started...in what couldn't have been less than five trips we we're buckled in, baby einstein cd playing & GPS leading the way. Norcross or bust baby!

I tried to shake the chaos of the morning away & was determined to enjoy the weekend. We were in such a pretty place with women I who I was looking forward to getting to know, learn and grow with. In a lil' over an hour I was crying uncontrollably. I took Elle to the ladies room and in 2.5 seconds she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Panic takes over. She must be hungry but my dumbass left her bottle in the other room. Luckily, I've got my car keys & just a matter of feet away is formula, h2O & bottles. We sat outside and I fed my starving daughter. I pulled myself together, handed Elle off to very capable hands, went back to the ladies room & proceeded to fall apart. I cried like from deep down. I feel overwhelmed. I'm tired and hungry. I feel alone. I feel trapped. And this was just the beginning. This was also when I decided I wanted to leave.

There were some more tears but after some words of encouragement and support I decided to stay. I'd like to think that I'm not a quitter. That I can rise to the challenge. And this was my moment.

We ate lunch, fellowshipped, checked into our room, and had some down time before dinner. And then Elle went from calm, cool & collected to a demon baby holding me hostage. It pretty much went downhill once I got her in the carrier. Elle: 3 Mom: 0. I threw the towel in & chalked it up to another missed meal. Not my first and certainly not my last. But then there was a knock at the door & someone had come to resue me! I got Elle bundled up & we drove to dinner...woo-hoo!

Although I didn't partake in the games & fun following dinner me and Elle had some fab QT time. And at 6:00am I packed the car (in two trips. impressive. i. know.) & at 7:00am we were heading for the homefront.

XOXO

The kind words and care extended to me & Elle was beyond amazing.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Why Not Just Take Some Pictures?

I can honestly say up until now there aren't too many things I put off. If something needs to get done then I do it. But it seems that when it comes to anything child support related I sort of skirt around it. I'll do this but not that and since I understand that the process isn't exactly a quick one I continue to keep giving myself a "pass" here and there. So this week I decided that I would get everything together and do what I should have weeks ago & finally get the process started.

I paid my application fee. Have all the forms filled out, printed & ready to be signed and notarized & copies made. Everything seemed in order and I was scolding myself for my dilly-dallying. There was just one last piece to puzzle to add, which was at home & has been in my possession for about two weeks, Elle's birth certificate. When I finally open the envelope there is no birth certificate to be found. Instead I see the paperwork I sent (including the envelope that I had put everything all nice and neatly in). The reason my request was denied said because I failed to include a photocopy of my identification=WRONG! That I most certainly did but what I did do was gyp the Department of Vital Records by five dollars. So instead of being at the Office of Child Support Enforcement bright and early I was fighting traffic to get to the Department of Vital Records. To keep myself from banging my head against the steering wheel I took pictures of my agonizing drive.


There was the bus that was definitely taking up more of my lane than I felt comfortable with. Leaving me no choice but to take up the next lane. Luckily, it wasn't very long before the bus turned and was off terrorizing more tiny streets of downtown.


Since I took my sweet time leaving the house I faced a painful amount of traffic. As I approached a sea of brake lights I realized this drive was not going to happen via the highway. I had to take it to the streets. Which meant one red light after another. Looking at things from a glass half full perspective I would have never been able to do any of it without my tom-tom, for that I'm thankful. Because it would have taken no time at all for me to pound the steering wheel in angst and start crying.


It was here where I was under the impression that I was close. Incorrect. What I wasn't able to get a picture of was the stop sign that I passed three times. First, as I went the wrong way; again, when I made the wrong right hand turn; then that last time as I finally made the right I was supposed to. Since I was clear to go I thought I not piss off everyone behind me.


Finally, almost an hour and a half later...I arrived. I circled the parking lot twice before deciding that I had to park in the "employee" parking lot. All of the public parking was taken and something told me that parking in a spot of a staff member would get me towed pretty quickly. I know if I had the honor of having a spot of my own, marked "Admin. Asst." I would certainly have the tow company on speed dial.

If you think the fun stopped there rest assured it didn't. Upon walking in I had to fill out a form and wait for someone to come to the window and fulfill my request. I couldn't have been more frustrated looking through this big (gl)ass window and watching every person look at me and then not go back to work but go back to the conversation they were having. It's called customer service ladies! Not too terribly long after ringing the bell someone appeared and just minutes later I had Elle's birth certificate.

A five dollar mistake cost me all of this. XOXO

A Day with the Girls

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my mom & Elle. Before I get to that though I made a fabulous new purchase in the form of a travel system. After church I decided to swing by Babies "R" Us for bottles and a travel wipes holder. On my way through the store we perused the clothes section. Let me tell you how much I'm looking forward to warm weather. Dresses, sandals and outfits that won't be hidden in the name of keeping the baby warm. I came very close to buying a bathing suit. It took a lot of will power not to but in the end I don't want to end up with a suit too small or too big. So I'll continue to wait impatiently. Then I spotted it...the stroller we just had to have & I know it was meant to be because it was the last one! I found someone to take it up front for us and finished up my shopping. The even better news is that Babies "R" Us has a program where you can trade in your old stroller, car seat, etc. & they give you 25% off towards the purchase of a new one. So my ridiculously expensive stroller became only expensive. The ladies there were really great and helped me get the car seat and base out of the box and helped me get everything to the car. I even assisted Don in putting it together. I wasn't exactly "hands on" per se but I read the directions to him so that's got to count for something :)

Of course, the very next thing I wanted to do was get us out there and enjoy the stroller. So me, Elle & my mom went and ran some errands together. The new car seat I learned is a giant pain in the arse! I took me adjusting Elle three times before she was in it comfortably, I've got one fancy piece of equipment on my hands. I literally worked up a sweat and she wasn't exactly thrilled with me and all the commotion I was bringing into her life. Let me also note that getting this behemoth of a stroller in the trunk takes some muscle & also commandeers the trunk in its entirety. Our first stop was the dollar store for goodies to send the kids in our family. Now I thought we were just going in there for some Valentine's Day knick-knacks. I was being naive though it's never that simple when it comes to my mother. We're standing in the toy section and within 2.5 seconds I'm over it. She's got two baskets, picks up and puts down the same coloring books, and on top of all of that knocks down just about every suggestion I make. The final straw was when she was going to follow me to some other toys around the corner and after standing there for five minutes it's evident she didn't follow me. I go on a man hunt for her and find her going through, you guessed it, more coloring books in a different section. ARRRRRGH! My mother knew I was anything but happy with her & pulled out her "I'm done" card. No lady, if you've still got things to get then you ain't done...lol! Somehow we did make it to the checkout and out of the Dollar Tree.



Our next stop was Target. And like usual I go in there with what I want in mind and leave with what I didn't even know I need. I got Elle a new toy, talked out of buying yet another outfit for her (don't tell me that you don't have a hard time saying no to clearance!), some baby einstein cd's, a snuggie for mommy and a Princess & the Frog cookbook. I also decided as I was pulled over and feeding a hungry Elle that the Princess & the Frog would be the theme for her first birthday party & I'm going to use the recipes and put on a fabulous lunch. I get happy just thinking about it :)

The night ended with with me, Elle, mom & grams watching the Superbowl. I was actually in the kitchen for most of the first half cooking. I impressed everyone with my multi-tasking skills! I fried chicken, baked brownies & sterilized Elle's bottles. All without starting a fire or burning anything...lol! It actually made me look forward to having a family of my own.

It was a fabulous day. I need more like it. XOXO

PS-When it comes to my mother's skills with a digital camera saying she leaves much to be desired is an understatement, LOL! The woman will accidentally turn the camera off instead of take the picture because she hit the wrong button. But inspite of that she took some fabulous shots of Elle :)

Operation Graco

Last night marked day one in the battle of getting Elle to sleep in her crib. The crib I initially wanted to be espresso, the same one I happened to find on sale & yes the one that I had bought sheets for well before the crib itself was even purchased. I have this joke that since it's a 3-in-1 I won't be buying Elle a bed until her toes are hanging off of it. Funny, I know. But far from true if the girl is going to spend her formative years in the bed with me.

At 8:05 when I thought it was safe I ever so slowly got up from my bed and ever so softly placed my sleeping angel in her crib, come 8:06 that sleeping angel I was just talking about was no longer sleeping...LOL! I got up four times and thirty minutes passed before she was right back where she wanted to be, in my arms on the bed that she's decided she'd like to call her own. The one thing she wasn't ready for was back up. [Enter open bedroom door Gram-Gram] Who ever so graciously took my side & joined the battle. 9:38, Gram-Gram is putting Elle in her crib and as I dread the coming of 9:39, nothing. Silence. (Insert small victory & accompanying dance)

The good news: we made it through the night
The bad news: she woke up every two hours like clockwork
More good news: when she fell back asleep she was placed back in her crib
More bad news: on time number four she got a small victory in the form of spending an hour sound asleep in my arms
Terrific news: she fell back to sleep and mom was able to blow dry and straighten her hair
Poignant news: this is only the beginning


The final time I put her back in there. That put's us at five, but who's counting? Victory will be sweet but the road to get there is another story.


Elle spent about twenty minutes awake laying just enjoying her mobile :)

XOXO